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刘楷弘死了......

我的心情

如果分离真的是唯一的解脱，那我还能说什么??
你曾说过这一辈子都爱我，那为何又要再一次伤害我??
你说过你会永远陪伴我,为何现在你又选择走??
你说过那些都是你的真心话,为何还要选择放手??
为何你偷走了我那颗真心后,把我丢在后头??
因为你,我变得坚强;因为你,我不再逃避,
但最后还是一样的结果.....
在学校你可以很坏,空节跑到食堂去,副校长要求见父母,你没当一回事,
你可以逃课不去补习,去新世界走走....
当你要面对他,你却变得如此的懦弱.....
对...也许是我不懂,两个人都无法融入彼此的世界....
我痛恨我自己....痛恨我自己不比他坏.....
往往心底善良的人终需要被牺牲....
我现在只懂如果你还是继续如此的懦弱,那你的生活永远都摆脱不了他的存在,
那你就要接受别人的控制,不要埋怨你得不到你想要的自由....
其实你可以摆脱的,只是你得固执你得懦弱让你变得失败.....
你想要你自己的生活是靠你自己去争取,不要跟我说不能....
你可以跟大人物坏,你却不敢跟那个小子坏....
就算今天我成全了你,让你走....
但你没有试着去摆脱....你还是永远的累.....
你的生活是你自己去掌握去控制....也许你妈可以去控制....
但不是一个跟你没有任何关系的人去控制.....
你有权力去选择你要的生活....不是他想要你过怎样的生活....
他没有那个权力....还是算了吧....说如此多....对你来说只是废话.....
你永远都不会听....你只会去做他想要你过怎样的生活....
其实我们可以很快乐.....但你的懦弱.....祝福你吧!!
如果你选择回到他身边,那就别埋怨他控制你...因为是你选择的....

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today no nit work so can slp til 10am juz wake up...wakao...juz wake up no long nia tiok stomach pain...celaka....haiz....agak pain liao dunno how many hours...haiz....thn juz hav the mood sms...
haiz....din work stay at house reali v sien lo...haiz...ntg to do...on9...watch movie...ntg else i can do...so i go to swimming...juz nw go pasar malam wit yc...haha...he buy the cubic again...super sai...
thn reach home no long nia tiok at msn chat wit me say tat he ald solve the problem....
celaka...si pek lan si....haiz....ntg ald sien...slp ald....tml date few colleague go queenbays...
haha...my mum ko gv me money buy new year t-shirt ald...yeah...i can spend it.....gd nite...

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today the 2nd day packing....finally after today then i can get rest ald....
today i went to work...i bring along my laptop n speaker....
haha...cuz thr din hav HI-FI ald....so i bring my laptop thn can listen song while we working...
haiz...ntg special la...thn afternoon got 1 ppl treat us eat ice-cream..haha...work work work...
work til 8pm...thn can go bec ald lo....haha...thn my head department treat us eat sushi king so we went to prangin mall to enjoy it....haha...we 9pm reach thr thn eat tiao agak 10smth....haha....
reali v happy...the last memory left at thr....at thr i eat 3 bowl of rice..haha.....
eat ka my stomach v full...after that tiok say bye bye to all....finally is time to say good bye....

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today wake up early....juz slp a few hours...haiz....no choice la...9am go wait the foreman...
haiz....he say he cnt go so far...haiz...nvm la...thn yp introduce mean do locker wan....haiz...
he say tat he din hav the materials to service wave 125 eh....wah.....reali v down lo...
cal oth shop..cnt come oso...totally down....thn cal my mum cal my ah gu come n do for me lo....
sad...finally my ah gu come....haha....starting reali hav a bit disappointed wan...cuz cnt...then he open the cover...then fixed....wah...key can put in ald....but cnt turn kok...thn...try n try n try.....
yeah....can ald...haha....can start ald...wah....happy.....my mood frm hell bec to heaven again....haha..
today she come to 1-stop....feel terkejut...cuz suddenly come...haha...after repair my motor...
i go buy mc'donald....treat my department eh ppl eat....plus 1 chinese department n 1 english head department....haha....nvm la...happy ald....can treat...thn we start work hard....work work work....
thn til 5.10pm....wah...tea break....eat mc'd.....haha....we enjoy together...english head department he cm n say funny thg again...make us laugh again....reali beh tahan him....haha...after tat continue work....til 7pm...today they say tired....so can bec early...haha...v gd....thn wait my dad fetch my bro come n tk his motor...thn i ride my motor bec....finally reach home....today i ride v slow...cuz my dad follow me...haha....reach hse juz see tiok the msg u sd me...my mood drop frm heaven to hell again....i reali hope tat i'm a stp guy....dunno wat u write...
haiz....but i stil 'jian ci'...thx u gave me the chance....hehe...love u...kk la...i wanna slp ald...tml reali the last day of work...a bit she bu de....haha...tml my head department treat us eat sushi...haha....cuz our sales reach 99k....juz only our department....haha...although din hit the target....but a gd result oso la....hehe....kk ba...gd nite n sweet dream....

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today 6th DEC last day for the fair...oso the last day for my work....aiyaya...
nit to fight to hit the target 100k....haha...11am....the door open ald....alot of ppl coming...
but stil less thn the 1st day la...but beter ald.....stand at my position...promote to customer...
haha....fight fight fight.....today morning i gave her a surprise....tat i wake up early...
thn i go cititel find her....actualy i very slipy wan...but whn see tiok her...everythg juz solve...
haha....my head department laugh me thn she start counting i can tahan how long dwn group wit them....beh tahan them....keeping bullying me...haha....today reali v happy...haha...thn whn wanna close agak 915pm++...we start joking at thr...haha....reali v funny...haha...start dance...talk stp thg...
laugh laugh laugh....stomach wanna pecah ald...haha....after tat we hav a small party....haha....
we tk picture together...all the part timer....the all staff...thn enjoy pizza, kfc n sandwich....haha...
finally almost 11pm ald....thn tiok balik.....they say wanna go kek lok si....actualy i dwn go eh...wanna go bec slp...aiyaya...so big group go thr...cincai lo...ma follow lo...smmr chee koon dunno road...so wanna bring him bec ma...kk lo...go go go....v happy go tk motor....i wanna scold rude words ald...my key cnt put in.....argh......my mood totally drop frm heaven til hell....wtf.....
haiz....thn no choice lo...cal my dad come n fetch me bec...haiz...but til house 12am ald...bath thn on9 a while 1smth...haiz....tml smmr hav work....ko wan go find repair motor wan...gd nite ba....sweet dream....

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today reali dunno how to start write this blog....haha....i ald started....
wat wanna say ar??everyday are the same wor??haha....
juz wanna say today is the last 2 day of working....haiz....tml last day...
wanna say gd bye ald...aiyoyo....everytym when reach the time to say gd bye sure hav abit sad wan.....v sien wit this kind of feeling...dunno y....today after u work u come 1-stop....
feel a bit weird..dunno y...cuz u juz walk pass lik tis....hehe...after tat u cm to my department...
din talk oso...i feel tat we should nt be lik tat....so i 'zhu dong' a bit lo...so tat if nex tym we quarrel...
i wil be the 1st person come out say sorry...yaya...i stil v love u...n the feeling wont gone....
it alwez keep inside my deep heart....no matter how sad how hurt i'm...the feeling will still remain at thr....even after i die the feeling stil at thr....i will bring it along wit me...haiz...tired ald...tml last day...i tiok keep a bit jin sheng ba....so work hard for last day...gd nite....sweet dream....muackzzz....

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today same life la...a bit sien....lunch time i eat myself...good...i can 1 person eat 1 person thk...
no ppl wil disturd me....last nite dunno y....v hard to fall asleep thn 6am lik tis ald wake up...
so when working i feel v slipy...so after i ate 2 bread whn dinner....i tk a nap in staff room..
juz agak 15min ba...haha...thn i go drink tea...haha...can be more 'jin sheng'....
stil left 2 days for my work...haiz...start she bu de...cuz whn working reali v nice....juz lik enjoying
my life....din hav any difficult oso....can play wat song i lik to listen n sing..haha...i sing v geli...
nt i dun sd tat msg to u...i reali feel tat she help me sd it wil be more beter...dunno may be u wont
feel it so...but i feel tat will be more beter....haiz....reali v tired ald....so i wanna go to slp ald....
gd nite ba...sweet dream....

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Today is the last 4th day working...so mean that still left 3 days only...haiz...
today reali hav abit sien...time pass v slow....haiz...lunch no mood to eat oso...
juz eat abit...thn after lunch bec to work...listen tiok she is coming...
yaya....she coming with her sis....thn lik tis lo....after lunch tiok wait dinner...
same la...2 bread...jagung favourite wan...haiz....after dinner tiok wait 'fang gong'.....
yaya...i saw the msg ald...frm jx's fon..cuz my fon no battery ald...so....
ntg to say...tired tired tired....juz wanna slp...today my 'bmw' v gd....can help me 'lap' til 105km/h...
v long din hav tis kind of feeling...haiz...wat can i say? wat can i do?? got....juz dun thk too much...
slp early lo...gd nite....sweet dream....

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today same la...back to work ald...haiz....v sien...lazy to wake up...haha....
i think today is the day that i most enjoy eh...cuz today my department din hav head department..
haha....so i'm head...so i wanna listen wat song watch wat movie....i oso can play it...haha...
feel tat today's time reali pass v fast...cuz today i start feel i dun wan go bec home...cuz i wanna work....wah....i change ald o......i reali start love my jod....cuz tat time i can enjoy it...
listen song and tat is free...haha...i oso dunno y i start feel i wanna stay at work i dun wan go bec??
may be when i'm working i can be myself...can do wat i lik to do...no ppl wil control me...i oso wont control myself...listen hip-pop song can dance...haha...actually i din lik tis kind of song..but customer wanna test ma...so no choice lo....knw a guy at the working place...he quite nice...haha...i can joking wit him whn i show off how rich i'm!! but i not rich la...juz saja play play la...haha...but juz nw make his hand injury...haha...i ald say sorry to him i tel him tat sorry, my watch rm300++ juz lik a weapon can protect me wan...haha...sorry la...juz joking...not lan ci....how is ur work??i thk u kk la....
ald do so many times...thn gd nite la....sweet dream....bye....

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today continue the same...wake up early n go to work...the journey oso the same...the whether oso the same..so hot...today big jie jie off...but today we hav a new head department...haha...so me n chee koon work hav a bit serious...haha...dunno his style so cnt play yet....finally ground floor eh mamak shop open ald...so went to thr eat economy rice...reali v cheap...haha...today work reali v sien...cuz a few customer...haiz...no nit serve oso...juz stand at thr....yaya...i thk i'm tired...my mental are tired...nit to take a rest..so tml i off i can rest...not to thk...i can slp til v late...juz enjoy my 1st day free eh holiday la...gd nite...sweet dream!!

5th day tat u travel...

today same as yesterday wake up at 9am...thn bath thn work...everyday repeat the same thing...
today i gv my colleague ‘kek'...haiz...i reali din watch b4 studio glibi eh cantoon ma...
haha....so i buy the collection...haha...but big jie jie borrow ki liao cuz she tml off so can watch...
cincai lo...i v gd eh...today she coming bec...yaya...she say tat midnite flight...dunno oso...whn i work til half...helping my customer testing vcd...celaka...my hp keep ringing...a bit tl....cuz bo eng tiao keep cal me...last...i cal chee koon replace me...i run to toilet....i c who cal me...so emergency...
is she...my darling...so i sms her....come bec liao tiok gd la...today my dinner oso the same- 2 bread wit jagung favourite.....today hav a thg make me v no mood...tat is i wanna to told that the guys tat try to control my life...i wan tell them tat u r juz who u r and i juz who i'm....u not my god...u din hav the power to control my life...wat i wanna do tat i thk i'm rite i wil do it...no matter who u r??if u wanna stop me thn i wil tell u tat i wil try my best to do it...haiz....tml ko got work...slp early la...gd nite....

4th day that u travel.....

today i starting enjoying my work....
play wit my head department, chee koon n 1 fren tat usm student 'big jie jie'....
today many kopitiam sell economy rice wan close....
so i went to ground floor thr buy rice.....
knn.....juz tk a bit nia...celaka....RM5.40.....upstairs thr juz eat RM3.20...here more expensive 2.20..
reali beh tahan....today my pocket money juz left rm7 nia....reali wanna die ald....
so after work i went to my mum house tk money....haha....r bo tml no nit eat meh....
how r u today....tml u come back already....actually i should feel very happy...but y i din hav tat kind of feeling?? May be i ald v tired....so bye la...go to sleep ald....nite....

3rd day that u travel...

Today wake up quite early...continue i have to work...haiz...so tired...
stand at thr almost 9hours...reali v tired...today i more enjoy on my work...
cuz less ppl come ald...thn today muet teacher come...Mr. loke....
haha...introduce him some nice voice...he reali buy...beh tahan...so rich wan...
i just nw today i ald miz u less...dunno is gd or not?? at least i no nit so heart pain...
but....haiz....how r u today?? go whr play?? got eat o??
hehe...

Happy birthday to u...

1st time i use blog to wish happy birthday to u...
sms u wont receive...laptop u din bring...
anyway juz wish u hav a Happy birthday at thr!!

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Frm the 1st day i ald knw tat u din bring ur hp....
but i dunno y i keep looking on my hp...
c whether got msg or not??
y i'm so stupid??y i keeping cheat myself tat miracle wil happen...
but all this wont be happen...
i reali try to be smart u knw??
but y i stil lik to cheat myself....
i ald try but ..............
everytym when my fon vibrate...
i reali hope is u...
i start cheat myself tat u use ur dad or mum hp sms me...
but i reali is the world's most stupid guy.....i thk i wanna throw away my hp....

2nd day that u travel...

今晚又是一个无星星闪烁的夜空.....
一个人骑着电单车在回家的路途奔驰...风之速...感觉还是一样...没有特别...
尝试了...尝试..把自己的工作量弄到最多...让自己没有时间休息....
因为这样想念你的时间会变短了...可是当客人要求试听音乐的时候....
前奏刚响起...在心里压抑许久...想念你和爱你的感情爆发了出来...
顿时的我就快崩溃了....很想哭了.....
当最后还是收回了我的眼泪....
今天工作真的很累....
站到脚快断了...但还是要继续....
又开始胡思乱想....我有开始对我自己失去了信心....
我真的不会是个好男人,也不会是个好情人....
我真的能给到你想要的幸福吗??我不懂...我不想我不能...但这答案不是我决定的....
你今天玩得开心吗??吃饱吗??
我不懂只能靠想象....

1st day that u travel...

today i wake up early cuz stil hav alot thg i hav to do...
juz wake up a while u sms me...yaya...laz nite dunno y...
cant slp well...juz keep awake...hav thg to thk....
i'm thinking tat how can i survive for the 5 days that din hav 1 msg wit u....
haiz...til morning this problem oso cant fixed it...
wat should i do is juz accept the truth...
Ppl say tat when u miz a person...
the star wil drop....
tonite the sky are so dark...
thr even no star at the sky....
cuz tat i reali miz u so much....
miz u juz lik my heart wanna start break...
juz lik my tears wanna drop again...
how r u today?? enjoy at thr???
haizzz...today the time pass very slowly....
ntg i can do for it....so i juz listen to u...
go n watch the movie tat u lik....prison break....
i ald watch 6episod in 1 day....
cuz i juz try to shorten the time tat i miz u...
but no matter what i try...u juz keeping appears on my mind......
wat should i do juz can help me stop thk of u??
today i reali go to airport i saw u sit at the mc'donalds thr....
i walk pass u...but u din see it...may be i wearing a cap...so u cant recognise me...
i'm trying hard to dun miz u so much...i trying...
i try dun to worry about u...but how could it be??
the day become dark n dark...i miss u become more n more....
i love u, darling....

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你想念我吗??
我好想念你....
想念你的夜里无法呼吸...
因为你是我的氧气....
没有你的夜里...
加上只有少许的氧气...
让我无法不想念你....
我好爱你....
想你想你想你...
想到眼泪都要忍不住掉下....
你睡得很甜吗??
没有我温暖的拥抱...
你是否可以那么的熟睡??
你今天开心吗??
终于可以看到你....
你的脚还痛吗?
我的还有少许的痛....
天气凉了记得多穿一件衣服....
因为我不能时时刻刻在你身旁给你温暖...
我爱你....

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today early morning taking pp exam....walao eh...just study then after that forget all...
10.05am starting...after take the paper...see here n see there...go toilet 1st la...haha...
after that just start writting....sai sai...11am finish ald...still left 2 hours....sien sien sien...sit at thr 'tu ku'....haiz...suak suak ki liao la! today is the 2nd time my fren that do the thing that make me laugh n make me feel heart pain! she accident in the early morning today...reach school i saw her cry...haha...i laugh because this cal 'hiao'...raining day ko drive so fast then accident liao ka lai cry...make me feel heart pain is her leg injury...omg...i cant see that wan...see liao i wil vommit...whn some one help her use dettol to wash...omg...i can feel the pain!! 1st time is she drunk...haha...then she vommit tat make me laugh...1st time i see tiok so sai eh guy drunk juz 1 tin only then vommit til so gai...make me feel heart pain is that she feel sad so juz drink beer! like this is hurt tiao herself...suak suak ki liao...reach house...finally i can take a gd nap...then 5smth i go my mum house swimming....swimming more than 30min then bec my mum house change cloth, wear up my sport shoe...go jogging...haha...so fit ar!!kk la....juz finish run 2 rounds nia...aiyoyo...rain again...but i still continue..run ka half...aiyoyo...so big ald...so juz give up lo...
haiz...sien sien sien!! tired liao...so wanna sleep liao...gd nite...

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一个人在灰暗的墙角哭了好几回....
哭泣是小女孩所做的事吗?不属于大男人?不懂...
算了...还是想不通!! 只懂要醒了!!
先恭喜我啦!!又中奖了!!奖品是一夜的失眠!!
要考试了...那个冲劲还没出现....
这次考试成绩应该也是凶多吉少的.....
有很多东西往往是无心的,无意的,却是最伤人的...
有人说爱情在美好的开始它最后常常是不怎么美好地结束...
我想在不怎么美好的开始也未必会有美好的结束....
不懂我想讲什么...只想做个比较狠的人,不必顾虑别人的感受,因为没人会顾我们的感受....

搞不清楚我是谁？？

也许我开始也跟佑泉一样搞不清楚自己到底是谁？
这个问题我想了又想....我还是找不到我想要的答案!
我是谁??我活在这个世界上的意义是什么?
那个属于我的谁想要的是怎样的生活?
不懂..不想懂...也不想去思考...
白天的我是个可爱,带欢乐给大家的人;
黑夜的我是个躲在灰暗的墙角哭泣的人....
应该是吧!谁懂...没人懂...永远不懂....
我只懂现在很低落...只想一个人静静地....

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Wat a wonderful tonite...but still have some imperfect...haiz...
already very late is time to sleep...but my mind still have alot of thing....
so just keep thinking about it...family, school, work and .... all pressure...
Many people say that pressure is good because can make a person to improve themselve...
yaya...that's right...but why i feel so tired???tml is holiday for heng ee student so just sit at there thinking it seriously...settle all that things...but everything is complicated...so what to do??
i already started feel tired to my life...when i can have a sleep? tired...tired...tired...

心情

今晚少了你的讯息陪伴，周围的气氛感觉冷淡，心突然痛了...
因为我的呼吸少了你的味道,感觉很淡很淡....
什么事又发生了...你不让我知道...你让你自己一个人孤独作战...
突然好想好想你...你到底在哪里...为何我闻不到你的气息...
我努力的撑着...不让自己疲惫...不让自己倒下....
但没了你...再多的耐力也已无意义...
想让你知道...爱你的心永远不会变...你是我的唯一的唯一...

21th day...

today everthg for me is going vey well...but wat a good wrong msg...my mood drop straightly frm high to low...i really dun understand...y ppl falling in love so easy..but i so difficult...i juz wanna a normal love...pass a normal life with my lover...haiz...i receive a wrong msg again...so wat can i say??i try dun wan drop tears again...yaya...i keep try n try...but i stil cant do it...gd nite n sweet dream....

20th day...

last nite b4 wanna sleep gastric pain plus the stupid guy disturd....how to sleep well leh...sleep liao wake up...keeping like this...haiz...go to school...try to concentrate la...try to be more 'jing sheng' la...but last nite i done eh thg...juz making the thing become worst n worst...i did wrong again...i should control myself...but i din do it...so u bring more troubles to her...but i reali not mean it...but all ald been too late...sorry ald become useless to her...today i really feel very down, but keep try smile out...try my best ald...today afternoon is the 1st time i din take a snap...when i lay on the bed, my mind just start thinking that thing and thinking of her...i love her...i dun wan to let go...so my tears start fall...try to stop...but juz out of my control...i'm serious...i really give u time to think...this time dun care of me...wat u wan just told me...i really dun wan see u unhappy n keep nervous...haiz...i just know now i will start keep my thing inside my heart...can accept eh cnt accept eh oso keep inside...i think thats will be better...trust really very important in our relationship...no secret in our life...try to accept wat i really cant accept...forget today...delete today memory...haiz...gd nite la...i think i will try my best la...accept all what i cant accept....sweet dream..tata..i love u, my darling!!

泪...流了...心...伤了...

也许我不容许我气馁，
也许我不容许我调眼泪，
但一切已变得无法再收拾，
我真的是第三者吗？
在别人的眼中，我是
但在我心中，我不是
试着入睡，试着不才去想，
但它总是喜欢想，想着想着。。。
第一滴泪流下了，接着第二第三。。。
泪流了证明心已伤了。。。。
开始后悔，后悔为何当初没有尽全力把你留下，
后悔就这样轻易把你放走，
对不起给不到你安慰，还让你受委屈。。。
我爱你是发出我的真心。。。

19th day....

today...damn sien sien sien...akaun 4 period...wanna die ald...smmr muet test is nearer n nearer...haiz...so many thg to fan...especially the stupid guy....damn damn bullshit....my patient ald reach to the max. limit....argh......angry make me gastric pain again...wtf...12am++ ka lai gastric pain..no nit sleep ald lo....i thk is time to give back some colour...kan kae more la...darling...i really very love u...i really wont let go...not matter how hard the problem is...i really think go to oversea study...would u follow me??dun tel me about the money....that not a problem...i will pay all for u...may be u should have a talk with ur dad...i knw u less communicate wit him...i ald starting siao...kk la...gd nite n sweet dream....

18th day....

last nite sleep quite well..hehe...12am++ ald fall asleep...haha...today wake up...din same as monday ald...lay on the bed turn n turn...today v guai...v fast tiok wake up ald...then reach school ald...she on a call...mostly guess tiok is who la...cuz i can read from her face...haiz...nvm la...juz dun bother anymore...juz let him do wat he wanna do if he feel tat he wil more happy...hehe...but i'm very sure that i wont let go...cuz i really love my darling and she is mine...haha...today lim poh sim din come...syok...2 period can rest...after school go back...on the way..aiyoyo....start raining heavy...walao...dunno my darling how...hehe...ho chai she sms me after reach house...whn i wanna reach hse...aiyoyo...thr hav an accident..ho chai the ppl no injury juz the car...haha....quite teruk....reach house...open pc 1st...cuz i heard jx say that smbd gv me comment...haha...nvm la...he wan say lik tat..i oso cant argue wat...just let him do it lo...hehe...then do my pig pig...walao...whn sleep in sweet condition...my tauke cal me...aiya...no choice...cnt scold him...haiz....talk talk talk liao...continue pig...hehe...today my darling can on9 v long...walao...i think she quite happy eh...haha...after that knw that her parents wanna go b'worth for me...tiok decide go n find her...haha..sui la...reach her house...she say that she tiok che kia...cuz she dunno me on the way to her house...she thought me go find my coach 1st..haha...darling more important ma..sure find darling 1st la...hehe....after that reach home...open pc again...hehe..stupid thg again..darling cal me delete...haha...delete....i think delete oso is a gd way la...no scare oth ppl say wat to me...juz i wont go n luan luan think la....wat ppl say to me i know may be sure is the bad word ar...or wat....but i thk i deserve it la...cuz i choose this road...but i'm happy la...cuz i knw my darling alwez support me..hehe...he post smth for me again...haha...stupid thg again...so i juz ignored it...hehe...darling, juz smile n happy alwez...i love u...keep u in deep of my heart...gd nite and sweet dream...

17th day...

today 1st day back to school....haha...last nite dunno y cnt sleep...turn and turn and turn...turn ka 1am++ ka fall asleep...so morning my ah ma call me wake up a bit bo kam guan...haha...my pillow...argh...haiz....faster wake up...r bo ltr late...my darling wait me long long..no good...haha... arrive school....wahsai...i love my school life...haha...cuz i hav my darling accompany me...hehe....
today the new canteen already start use...dun wan bother oso...then 1st n 2nd period....makroekonomi....wahsai...sien ka pua si....cnt lik tat...she is my badminton teacher...cnt do lik tat...haha...act very concentrate lo...haha...after that 3 free period....yahuu...din sien liao....thn chat wit some fren ar...song ka bui si...after that yee ding say got smth wanna ask me lo...she say i n ...tat wan ald hor??aiyoyo...i keep say no....she say her six sense v keat wan...nia mai...haiz..suak la...tel her yalo...hehe....act lik v sad after let ppl knw...but heart v happy...haha...cuz more ppl knw me 'lian ai liao'...haha....siao kia....then recess time lo...aiyoyo....so miz the old canteen lo....every thg change ald...very bu xi guan...suak lo...cincai find 1 place sit....haiz...thn continue shang ke....sien sien sien...after that 1pm pa teacher finish teaching...i wanna go toilet ma ma ask her..she shake her head say cnt....i tiok 'dian tou' say yes....she n me keep doin this 2 3 times...haha...suak liao...got ppl laugh ald...act cute again...haiz....afternoon reach house after eat tiok sleep...sleep ka 4pm mum call...fetch sis go ttn..aiyoyo...knw ald la...4.15pm....sis cal can go fetch her ald...kk lo...then my darling sms me...haha..song....i dun wan use song tis word anymore....make me laugh non stop nia....haha....then then then....tiok nw lo...nw tiok wan sleep liao lo...wanna sleep tiok wanna say bye bye lo...wanna bye bye tiok stop liao lo!! kk...tata har....bye...gd nite...muackz...darling, muack muack...haha...tata...stop liao la....sleep...bye...

此刻的心情

不知为何突然有一个念头很想把你抱紧......抱得紧紧的，紧紧的....
因为你是我的所有，我的所有的属于你.....我爱你......真的真的很爱你.....
对不起，或许我这样会让你感到压力.....但这些都是我的真心....
其实刚开始的那一天和接下来的好几天我还是无法相信你是我的.....
我真的不敢相信....我真的认为我在发梦....对不起，我有一点可恶.....
我真的对我自己完全没有信心....因为我从来都不相信自己能....
哈哈.....真的很可恶....就像上次我比赛，已经要赢了州手......
突然一个愚蠢的想法...我想我自己我真的这样好吗？就这个愚蠢的想法...
让我输了...哈哈...信心真的是我最需要的...
因为现在有时我还对自己说如果有一天我失去了我会怎样??
为何我不是在想你永远永远是我的??
对...从现在开始你永远属于我，不会分开...我爱你，亲爱的!!!

16th day....

today wake up quite late...haha...thn wake up ntg to do oso...haiz....every day just stay at house doin ntg...watch tv...on9....very very very sien lo....wanna sms my darling...ko scare disturd tiok her...haiz...dunno how oso......argh......sien sien sien...after that 3smth go eat hokkien mee...haha...then go to sea palace restaurant book badminton fairwell eh dinner...haiz...thn go find coach give back him monney....argh yesterday press rm500 nw juz left rm200...kek sim ar..some more ko nit give back my oth fren money...gai gai gai la....really bankrup ald...then the rm500 cnt use eh...nit faster save back bank in back...r bo gv my mum noe tiok...i sure wil die...then she sure keep back the atm card...then i tiok die...haiz....whn i on the way back to house...my darling sms me...hehe...very happy...haha....very very happy....haha...siao siao...aiyoyo...go pisa swim...think go to there meet her wan...suak liao la...ltr her uncle and cousin see tiok me tell her parents she gai again...no good...nvm la..tahan more few hours can see tiok her ald...haha...so miss her....after a week holiday....walao eh...all study mood dissapear ald...how ar???gai liao la....smmr exam 2B is coming nearer and nearer again liao la....fast fast find back study mood....tis time cnt die again...r bo...i will lost all my things ald...i dun wan quarrel wit him anymore...haiz....liu khai hong....u must concentrate on study liao la....dun play liao...dun alwez drunk liao...wake up....but i stil very love my darling...hehe...muack...gd nite n sweet dream!!! yeah....back to sch...hurray....

15th day....

last nite dunno do what...cant sleep well...haiz...today wake up...head very pain....then my darling sms me....hehe...wake up lo...my dad buy breakfast for me ald...aiyoyo...my grandma she hav oso...she cant finish left half for me...aiyoyo...my stomach so full....then go coaching ald...walao...reach the sch so many ppl....there hav a mooncake festicval....walao...they do like this we no nit coaching ald...then call the guy who take care the court wan...haha...he settle lo...then kk ald...today less student oso...some out station...some busy...hehe...nvm lo...play play play....they more and more guo fen...make us cant training anymore...walao...ko open aircon...got 'feng' the ball how to fly leh...haiz...suak suak ki la....3.30pm like that they hav 'chai pai'...walao...have leng lui lo...aiyoyo...cnt see cnt see...later my darling help me wash eyes...and kena pull ears tiok gai...haha...then go back liao...aiyoyo....go sir house...gv back his racket and listen him kapsiao a while...beh tahan..my sis cal me run liao...haha...reach house ntg to do...haiz...sms wit my darling again....really ntg to do...my darling ko go for dinner...haiz...then i lay on the bed...walao...sleep ki liao...haiz...but just a while nia....gv ppl wake me up ald...haiz...kek qi...suak lo...doin ntg....chat with old fren a while n watch football a while...haiz...really beh tahan ald...my aircon rosak ald...dunno y...my grandma cal me dun switch on....v hot ar....darling..can i go ur house sleep wit u...i reali cnt tahan hot ar!!finally stole stole open lo...boh huat...too hot cnt slp...after open...haha...can sleep ald...so gd nite la....tata...muack, darling....

14th day....

today wake up quite early...7.15am...cuz wanna go training...haiz..today cnt do pig ald...then bath lo...then go n fetch my sis go makan....reach ah sir house...aiyoyo...he stil din wake up...cal him 2 time oso no answer...suak lo...go eat 1st....haha...my darling reply me ald...she just wake up...then i cal 2 thing to eat...wah...early morning tiok eat 2 thing sure fat liao...then go training....say 8am start training wan...my coach 9.30am juz reach...haha...he always is super sai lang ald xi guan his style....ko say he wake up early...then i shoot him...yalo..wake up very early...cal him 2 times no ppl answer...haha...he diam diam...suak lo...start training...aiyoyo....no energy train oso...always lik that wan...i'm lazy...haiz...nvm lo....tahan tahan tahan...tahan til 12pm...finally can finish...go home ald....then c tiok my darling call me...aiyoyo...gai liao la...but cal her she din answer oso...nvm lo...then bring my sis go makan 'tomyam'..haiz...then my darling call lai liao...she say ntg ald...haiz...i know sure have smth happen ald....she juz keep in her heart...haiz...nvm lo....my sis eat tomyam...i eat fried maggi...aiyoyo...i ald finish v long ald...my sis wan ko din come....ask the auntie say kk come ald...nia mai...ko take for oth ppl....then cal my sis go and ask her lo....then she say kk...come come come liao....i wanna f*** her ald...knn leh...suak lo...mana tahu when she come...she take 2 bowl come...aiyoyo...i juz cal 1 bowl...walao....stupid...my sis ald pay...she dunno i din eat....haiz...nvm lo....eat lo...haiz...lunch ko eat 2 thg again...walao...sure fat fat liao....then i sms with my darling...i saw she send for me eh msg...when i saw that 1 last chance...i'm very sorry to say that i really lost my all confidence again...if normal ppl i think they wil say wont let her do lik tis...but i choose to 沉默....haiz...i'm sorry....i think if i say gv him last chance....then i stil left how many 1 year to wait for u again....if i say i wont let u do lik tis...may be the thg wil become worst and worst...but i really just think that i dun wan u to do lik tis....i reali feel so sad, tat time i reali feel v down...smmr i feel that i start tired...sorry, darling...i din reply then i choose to 'tao bi' answer this...when u need my support i choose to 'tao bi' i reali damn bullshit...after u told me that everything is fine...and he xiang tong ald...i still cant believe on u...i thought u ald give him a chance...sorry, i'm sorry i think that to u...darling, i'm sorry please forgive me....i reali love u...i reali cant live without u...i reali nit u....sorry, darling..i did so many wrong thing to u...i should trust u...but i din do it....i feel v 惭愧 to u....i'm sorry...i love u darling....gd nite n sweet dream....

13th day...

today same la...wake up very late...then sms my darling...hehe...after that ntg to do...very sien lo...haiz...after that 2smth go n find my coach....reach his house...aiyoyo...he sleep...nia mai...wake him sleep til 2.40pm...haha...he done his house work then we tiok go out do smth...haha...we go balai polis there pay my saman...finally pay ald...maleh...rm200 ar!!!walao...this month bankrap ald...nex month too...so just can eat roti plus mineral water...haiz....then we go his fren sport shop...kk lo...he give his fren sign smth nia...then the funniest thg come ald...haha....he reverse motor lo...thn suddenly the motor ma no balance lo...kk lo...he ma use his leg to 'cai' the floor lo...aiyoyo...mana tahu there din have place to pijak wan...ald is longkang....aiyoyo....then fall into the longkang....haha....aiyoyo...i see live wan lo...then i quickly go n help him...he cal me take up the motor 1st...ho chai the longkang v small nia...motor cnt fall down...if not...big motor...omg....then ho chai he ko wear helmet then head ntg lo...hand and leg just abit injury lo...abit nia la...haha....after that we tiok go back liao...aiyoyo...on the way...he say back...walao...i just keep laughing nia...hahaha....1st time i see him so 'xia sui' nia....haha....haiz....then reach house...then go to swimming....aiyoyo....the water so cold...i juz swimming a while nia tiok jump up ald...beh tahan...then i cal my sis 'pao' a cup of protein for me...haha...she ask me wan wat flavour...haha...beh tahan....i go n think oth place....ki siao...haha...darling, reali dun nervous...i wil be fine....trust me i will be kk....no nit to scare...no nit to affraid...who i'am....liu khai hong u knw??juz remember i love u...then kk ald...muack....gd nite...sweet dream...

12th day....

today 3am++ my darling sms me that she say she stomach pain...aiyaya...dunno she how oso...then 7am++ wake up again sms me...c whether she kk ald or not...she say she beter...then i ka fang xin a bit...then tiok continue do pig pig...haha....sleep until 11am...1st time...hehe...then 1pm++ go to find soya..my coach...haha...aiyoyo...on the way start raining...me kena wet wet..gai shi...then reach his house....give him something..business wan la...then he help me to call somebody lo....talk talk talk....4smth ald...v sien liao...tiok go back home...6smth my darling told me she on the way to z house...aiyoyo..forget ki liao...actually think to go wan..but..haiz...haiz...so kek xim...then on that time 1 person calling me la...starting he reali talk like wanna fight like this wan...so he keeping telling me smth la...then i tiok keep shoot him lo...cuz he say smth no points wan...b4 wanna close fon he cal me when i'm free cal him come out together drink tea...haha...see..my speak eh kung fu geng la...talk til him so respect me....haha....thx thx....then go n play badminton...just starting warm up nia....racket string spoil again...nia mai...juz take back from my coach nia tiok spoil...walao....kek ki lo...haiz....today have abit sien lo...dunno why...many thing to think...many thing to solve..but this is my jod gua...so i nit to stop blamming...hehe...darling, i love u..muackzzz....gd nite...

11th day....

today wake up at 9.30am..cuz alarm rang ald...cuz i date my fren at 11am gurney...then slow slow do my thing and bath..aiyoyo...10.30 ald..ko say wanna go yc hse do thg...suak suak ki ald...10.45am reach yc house then fetch him go gurney...haha...reach there din dare go inside kok...so we decide go to buy movie ticket 1st..hehe...finally oso go inside la...haha...sing quite many song la...hehe...then after that go n watch movie 'where got ghost'...aiyoyo...hav a bit kia kia oso...then we go to beach walk walk...haha....reach thr...i n yc juz sit at there enjoy the view...then relax....actually we keep 'kap lui' wan...haha....hope my darling din see tiok dis part...scare later kena pull ears..haha...then after take some photo with my fren..not leng lui la...juz fren...our classmate...got oso wont tel la...haha...then i n yc tiok go back 1st....they go for dinner...haha...then i go to yc house fill in form...tiok go back liao....aiyoyo...finally reach my house ald....zhun zhun my darling sms me...haha...muackz...darling....open computer then read my darling blog...aiyoyo...today i did a big mistake...haiz...i juz keep acc my fren then din care tiok my darling...i'm so gai...very regret din sms her...sorry, darling...i wont be like this next time...kk la...gd nite n sweet dream...muackzzzz

10th day....

last nite drunk....4smth am juz sleep...walao...early morning 9am my family call me ald...shit...then head very pain....then continue sleep kok....haha...10smth wake up ald...cnt sleep liao...a while nia..my darling sms me ald...haha...then my headache no more ald...haha...my darling is my cure....hehe...after that my fren hue ling bought me back...walao...finally reach my house...so miss my bed and my pillow...haha...take a bath then start to sleep again...haha...darling, i be pig again...actually 1pm wanna go out wan...mana tahu got ppl put aeroplane...then change to nite...walao...traffic jam lo...sien ka pua si...haiz....finally reach there..then my uncle call me say later play badminton..aiyoyo...after watch movie 'gamer' quite sien eh movie...not very understand and not very intersting...then rush back...omg...traffic jam again...kek qi ar!!haha...my darling sms me told me her mum din give her drink alcohol drinks...hehe...may be good to her oso la...dun learn me...no good eh...hehe...darling...erm..i wanna say...i really wont mind what people say to me...yaya...if i mind then there will no meaning that we face so many problem before...we should love each others more and live more happily...but not wanna prove for them see just do that la....let them know that we dint make wrong decision...and i choose this road i will continue...and i wanna live with u...u are the only 1 in my heart...i love u...gd nite and sweet dream la....

9th day....

Actually i should post this last night wan...but i din go back house..after b'worth, i tiok follow my fren they bigger than me alot wan la....they bring me go rose garden drunk....haha....so my auntie and uncle drop me down at jetty then my fren go jetty pick me....they told me that bcuz of me so postpone the party..haha...but i know they like to kap siao wan la...kk...they fetch me ald...then...we reach ald...haha...some of fren oso reach early ald...starting no mood kok....juz drink abit abit nia...kk la..so so lo...after that they start play some game loss eh drink whole glass....haha....walao....i kena many times lo..ma leh...after this we start high ald..haha...then our turn to sing song ald...yeah...then they sing i n some fren at there start dance..walao...i know i'm drunk ald...but still cant conntrol..haha...i drink til wan muntah ald...cuz i drink many many...stomach very full...haha...3.30am ald...we go back home liao...they go to tanjung bungah my fren house....drunk again...haha...tat time i din drink ald...cuz beh liao...then we put some song....start sing again..haha..dunno they go receive the warning letter or not...yahuuu...so high...sorry, darling..last nite din accompany u...but whn i drunk i still got think of u la...haha...tata

Juz For My Lovely Darling...

I Do ~ Westlife....
Tell me can you feel my heart beat
Tell me as I kneel down at your feet
I knew there would come a time
When these two hearts would entwine
Just put your hand in mine
Forever

For so long I have been an island
When no-one could ever reach these shores
And we've got a whole lifetime to share
And I'll always be there
Darling, this I swear

So please believe me
For these words I say are true
And don't deny me
A lifetime loving you
And if you ask will I be true
Do I give my all to you
I will say I do

I'm ready to begin this journey
Well I'm with you with every step you take
And we've got a whole lifetime to share
And I'll always be there
Darling this I swear

So please believe me
For these words I say are true
And don't deny me
A lifetime loving you
And if you ask will I be true
Do I give my all to you
I will say I do

So come on
Just take my hand
Oh come on
Lets make a stand for our love
But I know this is so hard to believe
So please

So please believe me
All these words I say are true
And don't deny me
A lifetime loving you
And if you ask will I be true
Do I give my all to you

And if you ask will I be true
Do I give my all to you

Then I will say I do

8th day...

haha....today my darling come n meet me...haha....so sweet...but give my gina kacau tiok..haiz...juz can sweet a while nia...but kk la...enough ald...darling, i love u o....hehe....juz nw come b'worth stay..but very sad...my fren late sms me....they invite me go rose garden...argh...sad sad sad lo...miss the chance can drunk til very very very mabuk....haiz...but nvm la...now wan 'ding xing' ald..cnt play play ald...haha...darling, i know now u suffering alot of thing but i know u wil make it and settle it....jia you la...i will always be ur side support u...i love u, darling...hehe...good nite and sweet dream...

7th day...

haha....hurray...now i'm in love...haha...i wanna share tis thg to all my fren...haha...i wan they congratulation me...haha...and i wan show off my darling...haha...my darling so sweet and so beautiful...give all my fren jealous me...hav such gd darling...haha! to my darling, sweet heart may be some time i cant always call u or sms u...cuz may be i hav my thg i wanna settle it...but u always in my heart and i wont go find others leng lui..cuz in my heart u are the most beautiful...i love u...and tis time i wont let go my hand...i will hold it tight...but i wanna say sorry to u 1st...i really can always accompany u but i wil always be ur side...no matter how hard the problem is...we will face together...and remember u always are my sweet heart...hehe...good nite and sweet dream la...muackzzzz....i love u, darling!!

6th day...

today morning walao eh...rush to sch ar...i 'qi dai' eh thg but din happen...haha...nvm la...kk wan la...hav bit disappointed lo...haha...dunno y today see her blog feel quite happy!!she write the blog say that today she very happy and i oso dunno y...hehe...just now go and play badminton...walao..racket string spoil again....mcb leh....juz 2 week nia...haiz....easy to spend money hard to earn money...beh dong ald...pocket wan pecah ald...haha...nvm la...the important thg come ald...i ask her smth..and she say that is fix to me...walao...i din keep totally shoot out all wat i wan do say...yahuuuu.......finally finally finally, she accept me ald....hurray.....so happy...haha...v happy...
tis day i waiting for so long ald....i love her...finally i wait tiok she say yes to me...i have make it...walao...tonite cant sleep again ald....kk la...gd nite n sweet dream...bye....

5th day...

today morning same la!! ride motor go to school...hehe...ride until batu uban....omg...i forget zhen wei's birthday cake...argh...no choice liao..patah balik go n take cake....walao...ride motor like drive ferrari so fast...and morning raining so the weather very cold...my body keep shaking...haha...kk lo..
no problem...reach school already late..ho chai...today din hav assembly...haha..then when i wanna walk in school have a bus just reach so i, yu lyn and jia xin walk in together with them...haha...no need write down name...ho chai...study til half go toilet a while...yee ping tell me that jia xin just now drunk...ki siao tiao and go toilet vommit many times...haha....wat a funny thg...after that i have free period then three of them ponteng class so i saw jia xin...haha...really same as a siao cha bo...then after school walk to the car park..aiyoyo...see gary and sin ying so sweet...haha...when can i get my sweet memory??haha...dun think so much la...dunno why really very 'qi dai' tomorrow coming...haha...now wanna faster go and sleep..rest enough...yahuuuuuu....good nite and sweet dream la....forget say that just now my grandma give me a gold ring...haha...and she tell me that hope can see me marry because she will more 'an xin' have people take care me...haiz...

Lonely Night

Rain start falling, night start darker...loneliss become more and more...
the mind starting running and u appear on my mind...
suddenly the feel so strong and the force of impulse make me miss u deeper...
just wanna ask u...how are you?how do you live??are you happy??and the important is do you miss me??i miss u so much...i envy u that u can live without any nervous,
every night when the song started playing, my tears will starting to drop just because i miss you...

4th day...

same result early lay on the bed din mean thats can fall asleep early...stil alot things to think...
haiz...today when class suddenly feel that alot of thing i can't follow...my speed are so slow...and i always keeping dreaming...i wanna stop it...when i just can make it??i wan focus but it make me miss her more...i think i love her..but she wont...may be she already treat he as her future husband...so no more chance for others stupid idiot guys...when i just can let it go??i know just the time problem...hope i din hope that i will let it go..may be i really love her too deep...yaya...the day that din have her i dunno how to pass...i really cant imagine that how i could live without her....
it's truth...argh...god,please help me...should i just let it go...just now i do 心理测验 they cal me dun make to much hope in love and dun love too deep when just begining of starting love...because it will hurt me...yaya...i feel that is truth..because i really get hurt many times....yaya...may be just let it go...let it fly...dun think too much..just normal friend....less comunicate will help me solve the problem easier....so dun too close..keep a distance between her n me....yaya...hai should do that..i think i could do that just depends on i wan to do it or not only....cheer up la....gd nite and sweet dreams...

3rd day....

Because of my grandma sick...so i nit to take care her...so last nite i sleep with her....haiz.....her room are so hot....no aircon...and my uncle coming to c her...thw whole nite...i wake up 3 times....
walao eh....today go til school very stim and ride motor oso very stim....just knw how to ride faster nia....haha....ntg special for today....just same as normal....we walk til car park....juz normal chatting...haiz...alot of thing is gonna to change...yaya....i keep thinking i wan faster be rich...then i can start my dream...haha...drive big car n stay big house...yaya...i hope this dream can suicide as fast as possible....then i wan wat i can get wat....and i think i will very enjoy it cuz i earn it myself...
kk la....last nite sleep less so now wan recover back...haha....gd nite n sweet dream...

2nd day..

last nite, dunno why after drunk plus read a mail that fren send for me...
suddenly have a stregthn say sorry to her...i oso feel that i hav do some wrong...
so i apologise to her...yaya...how hurt i ald past through before and this is the 2nd time...
so watever the result is...the thg i take up it then i should let it go myself....
cuz if i din put down or let it go,i juz wil bring the trouble pass my daily life..
and i wil be sad always...why dont i just put down and pass a happy daily life...
yaya...i did it and i thinks is a good start...
today...v tired la....3am juz sleep...drink too many and leg very gatai because sensitive...
then early morning ko nit bring ah sir go bincang business but i oso have earn some la..
haha...then bring theirs family go out eat lunch..cuz sir car spoil ald...
then continue others business...haha....i think now my 2nd jod really is a business man..
but when i talking business..my grandma call me say that her heartbeat very fast...
so i cal my dad go find her...cuz i din at house....haiz...hope her be kk la....
but say the truth la....i reali still very love her...but i think just me only...she wont anymore...
hope i can faster forget her la...juz remember that she is my good fren...yaya....
kk la....gd nite n sweet dream....

1st Day

Today may be for me is the special day...so that i have start my blog....hehe...
today my K daddy's birthday so we celebrate at house...haha...
eat thn drink wine...talk and laugh loudly....what a happy day....
and i think juz now is the 1st moment that i forget myself....
i think i also drink quite many so have a blur blur....haha....alwez lik tat wan....
but quite funny...just keeping laugh...finally i find back my smile...wat a good start....
i think very fast i can forget all the thing start with my new life....
yaya...freedom n single i coming find u all....wait for me....i nit u all now....
kk la....quite tired ald...cuz laugh use too many energy...haha....
good nite....n sweet dream....