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刘楷弘死了......

我的心情

如果分离真的是唯一的解脱，那我还能说什么??
你曾说过这一辈子都爱我，那为何又要再一次伤害我??
你说过你会永远陪伴我,为何现在你又选择走??
你说过那些都是你的真心话,为何还要选择放手??
为何你偷走了我那颗真心后,把我丢在后头??
因为你,我变得坚强;因为你,我不再逃避,
但最后还是一样的结果.....
在学校你可以很坏,空节跑到食堂去,副校长要求见父母,你没当一回事,
你可以逃课不去补习,去新世界走走....
当你要面对他,你却变得如此的懦弱.....
对...也许是我不懂,两个人都无法融入彼此的世界....
我痛恨我自己....痛恨我自己不比他坏.....
往往心底善良的人终需要被牺牲....
我现在只懂如果你还是继续如此的懦弱,那你的生活永远都摆脱不了他的存在,
那你就要接受别人的控制,不要埋怨你得不到你想要的自由....
其实你可以摆脱的,只是你得固执你得懦弱让你变得失败.....
你想要你自己的生活是靠你自己去争取,不要跟我说不能....
你可以跟大人物坏,你却不敢跟那个小子坏....
就算今天我成全了你,让你走....
但你没有试着去摆脱....你还是永远的累.....
你的生活是你自己去掌握去控制....也许你妈可以去控制....
但不是一个跟你没有任何关系的人去控制.....
你有权力去选择你要的生活....不是他想要你过怎样的生活....
他没有那个权力....还是算了吧....说如此多....对你来说只是废话.....
你永远都不会听....你只会去做他想要你过怎样的生活....
其实我们可以很快乐.....但你的懦弱.....祝福你吧!!
如果你选择回到他身边,那就别埋怨他控制你...因为是你选择的....

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today no nit work so can slp til 10am juz wake up...wakao...juz wake up no long nia tiok stomach pain...celaka....haiz....agak pain liao dunno how many hours...haiz....thn juz hav the mood sms...
haiz....din work stay at house reali v sien lo...haiz...ntg to do...on9...watch movie...ntg else i can do...so i go to swimming...juz nw go pasar malam wit yc...haha...he buy the cubic again...super sai...
thn reach home no long nia tiok at msn chat wit me say tat he ald solve the problem....
celaka...si pek lan si....haiz....ntg ald sien...slp ald....tml date few colleague go queenbays...
haha...my mum ko gv me money buy new year t-shirt ald...yeah...i can spend it.....gd nite...

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today the 2nd day packing....finally after today then i can get rest ald....
today i went to work...i bring along my laptop n speaker....
haha...cuz thr din hav HI-FI ald....so i bring my laptop thn can listen song while we working...
haiz...ntg special la...thn afternoon got 1 ppl treat us eat ice-cream..haha...work work work...
work til 8pm...thn can go bec ald lo....haha...thn my head department treat us eat sushi king so we went to prangin mall to enjoy it....haha...we 9pm reach thr thn eat tiao agak 10smth....haha....
reali v happy...the last memory left at thr....at thr i eat 3 bowl of rice..haha.....
eat ka my stomach v full...after that tiok say bye bye to all....finally is time to say good bye....

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today wake up early....juz slp a few hours...haiz....no choice la...9am go wait the foreman...
haiz....he say he cnt go so far...haiz...nvm la...thn yp introduce mean do locker wan....haiz...
he say tat he din hav the materials to service wave 125 eh....wah.....reali v down lo...
cal oth shop..cnt come oso...totally down....thn cal my mum cal my ah gu come n do for me lo....
sad...finally my ah gu come....haha....starting reali hav a bit disappointed wan...cuz cnt...then he open the cover...then fixed....wah...key can put in ald....but cnt turn kok...thn...try n try n try.....
yeah....can ald...haha....can start ald...wah....happy.....my mood frm hell bec to heaven again....haha..
today she come to 1-stop....feel terkejut...cuz suddenly come...haha...after repair my motor...
i go buy mc'donald....treat my department eh ppl eat....plus 1 chinese department n 1 english head department....haha....nvm la...happy ald....can treat...thn we start work hard....work work work....
thn til 5.10pm....wah...tea break....eat mc'd.....haha....we enjoy together...english head department he cm n say funny thg again...make us laugh again....reali beh tahan him....haha...after tat continue work....til 7pm...today they say tired....so can bec early...haha...v gd....thn wait my dad fetch my bro come n tk his motor...thn i ride my motor bec....finally reach home....today i ride v slow...cuz my dad follow me...haha....reach hse juz see tiok the msg u sd me...my mood drop frm heaven to hell again....i reali hope tat i'm a stp guy....dunno wat u write...
haiz....but i stil 'jian ci'...thx u gave me the chance....hehe...love u...kk la...i wanna slp ald...tml reali the last day of work...a bit she bu de....haha...tml my head department treat us eat sushi...haha....cuz our sales reach 99k....juz only our department....haha...although din hit the target....but a gd result oso la....hehe....kk ba...gd nite n sweet dream....

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today 6th DEC last day for the fair...oso the last day for my work....aiyaya...
nit to fight to hit the target 100k....haha...11am....the door open ald....alot of ppl coming...
but stil less thn the 1st day la...but beter ald.....stand at my position...promote to customer...
haha....fight fight fight.....today morning i gave her a surprise....tat i wake up early...
thn i go cititel find her....actualy i very slipy wan...but whn see tiok her...everythg juz solve...
haha....my head department laugh me thn she start counting i can tahan how long dwn group wit them....beh tahan them....keeping bullying me...haha....today reali v happy...haha...thn whn wanna close agak 915pm++...we start joking at thr...haha....reali v funny...haha...start dance...talk stp thg...
laugh laugh laugh....stomach wanna pecah ald...haha....after tat we hav a small party....haha....
we tk picture together...all the part timer....the all staff...thn enjoy pizza, kfc n sandwich....haha...
finally almost 11pm ald....thn tiok balik.....they say wanna go kek lok si....actualy i dwn go eh...wanna go bec slp...aiyaya...so big group go thr...cincai lo...ma follow lo...smmr chee koon dunno road...so wanna bring him bec ma...kk lo...go go go....v happy go tk motor....i wanna scold rude words ald...my key cnt put in.....argh......my mood totally drop frm heaven til hell....wtf.....
haiz....thn no choice lo...cal my dad come n fetch me bec...haiz...but til house 12am ald...bath thn on9 a while 1smth...haiz....tml smmr hav work....ko wan go find repair motor wan...gd nite ba....sweet dream....

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today reali dunno how to start write this blog....haha....i ald started....
wat wanna say ar??everyday are the same wor??haha....
juz wanna say today is the last 2 day of working....haiz....tml last day...
wanna say gd bye ald...aiyoyo....everytym when reach the time to say gd bye sure hav abit sad wan.....v sien wit this kind of feeling...dunno y....today after u work u come 1-stop....
feel a bit weird..dunno y...cuz u juz walk pass lik tis....hehe...after tat u cm to my department...
din talk oso...i feel tat we should nt be lik tat....so i 'zhu dong' a bit lo...so tat if nex tym we quarrel...
i wil be the 1st person come out say sorry...yaya...i stil v love u...n the feeling wont gone....
it alwez keep inside my deep heart....no matter how sad how hurt i'm...the feeling will still remain at thr....even after i die the feeling stil at thr....i will bring it along wit me...haiz...tired ald...tml last day...i tiok keep a bit jin sheng ba....so work hard for last day...gd nite....sweet dream....muackzzz....

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today same life la...a bit sien....lunch time i eat myself...good...i can 1 person eat 1 person thk...
no ppl wil disturd me....last nite dunno y....v hard to fall asleep thn 6am lik tis ald wake up...
so when working i feel v slipy...so after i ate 2 bread whn dinner....i tk a nap in staff room..
juz agak 15min ba...haha...thn i go drink tea...haha...can be more 'jin sheng'....
stil left 2 days for my work...haiz...start she bu de...cuz whn working reali v nice....juz lik enjoying
my life....din hav any difficult oso....can play wat song i lik to listen n sing..haha...i sing v geli...
nt i dun sd tat msg to u...i reali feel tat she help me sd it wil be more beter...dunno may be u wont
feel it so...but i feel tat will be more beter....haiz....reali v tired ald....so i wanna go to slp ald....
gd nite ba...sweet dream....

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Today is the last 4th day working...so mean that still left 3 days only...haiz...
today reali hav abit sien...time pass v slow....haiz...lunch no mood to eat oso...
juz eat abit...thn after lunch bec to work...listen tiok she is coming...
yaya....she coming with her sis....thn lik tis lo....after lunch tiok wait dinner...
same la...2 bread...jagung favourite wan...haiz....after dinner tiok wait 'fang gong'.....
yaya...i saw the msg ald...frm jx's fon..cuz my fon no battery ald...so....
ntg to say...tired tired tired....juz wanna slp...today my 'bmw' v gd....can help me 'lap' til 105km/h...
v long din hav tis kind of feeling...haiz...wat can i say? wat can i do?? got....juz dun thk too much...
slp early lo...gd nite....sweet dream....

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today same la...back to work ald...haiz....v sien...lazy to wake up...haha....
i think today is the day that i most enjoy eh...cuz today my department din hav head department..
haha....so i'm head...so i wanna listen wat song watch wat movie....i oso can play it...haha...
feel tat today's time reali pass v fast...cuz today i start feel i dun wan go bec home...cuz i wanna work....wah....i change ald o......i reali start love my jod....cuz tat time i can enjoy it...
listen song and tat is free...haha...i oso dunno y i start feel i wanna stay at work i dun wan go bec??
may be when i'm working i can be myself...can do wat i lik to do...no ppl wil control me...i oso wont control myself...listen hip-pop song can dance...haha...actually i din lik tis kind of song..but customer wanna test ma...so no choice lo....knw a guy at the working place...he quite nice...haha...i can joking wit him whn i show off how rich i'm!! but i not rich la...juz saja play play la...haha...but juz nw make his hand injury...haha...i ald say sorry to him i tel him tat sorry, my watch rm300++ juz lik a weapon can protect me wan...haha...sorry la...juz joking...not lan ci....how is ur work??i thk u kk la....
ald do so many times...thn gd nite la....sweet dream....bye....

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today continue the same...wake up early n go to work...the journey oso the same...the whether oso the same..so hot...today big jie jie off...but today we hav a new head department...haha...so me n chee koon work hav a bit serious...haha...dunno his style so cnt play yet....finally ground floor eh mamak shop open ald...so went to thr eat economy rice...reali v cheap...haha...today work reali v sien...cuz a few customer...haiz...no nit serve oso...juz stand at thr....yaya...i thk i'm tired...my mental are tired...nit to take a rest..so tml i off i can rest...not to thk...i can slp til v late...juz enjoy my 1st day free eh holiday la...gd nite...sweet dream!!

5th day tat u travel...

today same as yesterday wake up at 9am...thn bath thn work...everyday repeat the same thing...
today i gv my colleague ‘kek'...haiz...i reali din watch b4 studio glibi eh cantoon ma...
haha....so i buy the collection...haha...but big jie jie borrow ki liao cuz she tml off so can watch...
cincai lo...i v gd eh...today she coming bec...yaya...she say tat midnite flight...dunno oso...whn i work til half...helping my customer testing vcd...celaka...my hp keep ringing...a bit tl....cuz bo eng tiao keep cal me...last...i cal chee koon replace me...i run to toilet....i c who cal me...so emergency...
is she...my darling...so i sms her....come bec liao tiok gd la...today my dinner oso the same- 2 bread wit jagung favourite.....today hav a thg make me v no mood...tat is i wanna to told that the guys tat try to control my life...i wan tell them tat u r juz who u r and i juz who i'm....u not my god...u din hav the power to control my life...wat i wanna do tat i thk i'm rite i wil do it...no matter who u r??if u wanna stop me thn i wil tell u tat i wil try my best to do it...haiz....tml ko got work...slp early la...gd nite....

4th day that u travel.....

today i starting enjoying my work....
play wit my head department, chee koon n 1 fren tat usm student 'big jie jie'....
today many kopitiam sell economy rice wan close....
so i went to ground floor thr buy rice.....
knn.....juz tk a bit nia...celaka....RM5.40.....upstairs thr juz eat RM3.20...here more expensive 2.20..
reali beh tahan....today my pocket money juz left rm7 nia....reali wanna die ald....
so after work i went to my mum house tk money....haha....r bo tml no nit eat meh....
how r u today....tml u come back already....actually i should feel very happy...but y i din hav tat kind of feeling?? May be i ald v tired....so bye la...go to sleep ald....nite....

3rd day that u travel...

Today wake up quite early...continue i have to work...haiz...so tired...
stand at thr almost 9hours...reali v tired...today i more enjoy on my work...
cuz less ppl come ald...thn today muet teacher come...Mr. loke....
haha...introduce him some nice voice...he reali buy...beh tahan...so rich wan...
i just nw today i ald miz u less...dunno is gd or not?? at least i no nit so heart pain...
but....haiz....how r u today?? go whr play?? got eat o??
hehe...

Happy birthday to u...

1st time i use blog to wish happy birthday to u...
sms u wont receive...laptop u din bring...
anyway juz wish u hav a Happy birthday at thr!!

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Frm the 1st day i ald knw tat u din bring ur hp....
but i dunno y i keep looking on my hp...
c whether got msg or not??
y i'm so stupid??y i keeping cheat myself tat miracle wil happen...
but all this wont be happen...
i reali try to be smart u knw??
but y i stil lik to cheat myself....
i ald try but ..............
everytym when my fon vibrate...
i reali hope is u...
i start cheat myself tat u use ur dad or mum hp sms me...
but i reali is the world's most stupid guy.....i thk i wanna throw away my hp....

2nd day that u travel...

今晚又是一个无星星闪烁的夜空.....
一个人骑着电单车在回家的路途奔驰...风之速...感觉还是一样...没有特别...
尝试了...尝试..把自己的工作量弄到最多...让自己没有时间休息....
因为这样想念你的时间会变短了...可是当客人要求试听音乐的时候....
前奏刚响起...在心里压抑许久...想念你和爱你的感情爆发了出来...
顿时的我就快崩溃了....很想哭了.....
当最后还是收回了我的眼泪....
今天工作真的很累....
站到脚快断了...但还是要继续....
又开始胡思乱想....我有开始对我自己失去了信心....
我真的不会是个好男人,也不会是个好情人....
我真的能给到你想要的幸福吗??我不懂...我不想我不能...但这答案不是我决定的....
你今天玩得开心吗??吃饱吗??
我不懂只能靠想象....

1st day that u travel...

today i wake up early cuz stil hav alot thg i hav to do...
juz wake up a while u sms me...yaya...laz nite dunno y...
cant slp well...juz keep awake...hav thg to thk....
i'm thinking tat how can i survive for the 5 days that din hav 1 msg wit u....
haiz...til morning this problem oso cant fixed it...
wat should i do is juz accept the truth...
Ppl say tat when u miz a person...
the star wil drop....
tonite the sky are so dark...
thr even no star at the sky....
cuz tat i reali miz u so much....
miz u juz lik my heart wanna start break...
juz lik my tears wanna drop again...
how r u today?? enjoy at thr???
haizzz...today the time pass very slowly....
ntg i can do for it....so i juz listen to u...
go n watch the movie tat u lik....prison break....
i ald watch 6episod in 1 day....
cuz i juz try to shorten the time tat i miz u...
but no matter what i try...u juz keeping appears on my mind......
wat should i do juz can help me stop thk of u??
today i reali go to airport i saw u sit at the mc'donalds thr....
i walk pass u...but u din see it...may be i wearing a cap...so u cant recognise me...
i'm trying hard to dun miz u so much...i trying...
i try dun to worry about u...but how could it be??
the day become dark n dark...i miss u become more n more....
i love u, darling....

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你想念我吗??
我好想念你....
想念你的夜里无法呼吸...
因为你是我的氧气....
没有你的夜里...
加上只有少许的氧气...
让我无法不想念你....
我好爱你....
想你想你想你...
想到眼泪都要忍不住掉下....
你睡得很甜吗??
没有我温暖的拥抱...
你是否可以那么的熟睡??
你今天开心吗??
终于可以看到你....
你的脚还痛吗?
我的还有少许的痛....
天气凉了记得多穿一件衣服....
因为我不能时时刻刻在你身旁给你温暖...
我爱你....

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today early morning taking pp exam....walao eh...just study then after that forget all...
10.05am starting...after take the paper...see here n see there...go toilet 1st la...haha...
after that just start writting....sai sai...11am finish ald...still left 2 hours....sien sien sien...sit at thr 'tu ku'....haiz...suak suak ki liao la! today is the 2nd time my fren that do the thing that make me laugh n make me feel heart pain! she accident in the early morning today...reach school i saw her cry...haha...i laugh because this cal 'hiao'...raining day ko drive so fast then accident liao ka lai cry...make me feel heart pain is her leg injury...omg...i cant see that wan...see liao i wil vommit...whn some one help her use dettol to wash...omg...i can feel the pain!! 1st time is she drunk...haha...then she vommit tat make me laugh...1st time i see tiok so sai eh guy drunk juz 1 tin only then vommit til so gai...make me feel heart pain is that she feel sad so juz drink beer! like this is hurt tiao herself...suak suak ki liao...reach house...finally i can take a gd nap...then 5smth i go my mum house swimming....swimming more than 30min then bec my mum house change cloth, wear up my sport shoe...go jogging...haha...so fit ar!!kk la....juz finish run 2 rounds nia...aiyoyo...rain again...but i still continue..run ka half...aiyoyo...so big ald...so juz give up lo...
haiz...sien sien sien!! tired liao...so wanna sleep liao...gd nite...